Do women dig guys who can dance? Yes, but not necessarily for the guy’s dance skills or moves. Women are attracted to guys who dance because it shows you are a fun-loving person. Helen Fisher, PhD, an anthropologist at Rutgers University and author of Why We Love, a book about the nature and chemistry of romantic love, explains, “There is a certain amount of dance to copulation. And dancing is energetic, which suggests someone who’s in good shape,” she said. “But I think what’s really going on is that dancing indicates someone who’s social and self-confident.”
We sat down with Tabitha D’Umo, half of star choreography duo, Nappytabs (nappytabs.com), to learn more about how guys can maximise their time on the dance floor, even if they are as graceful as a sloth. Together with her husband, Napoleon D’Umo, Tabitha has been involved in choreographing popular dance television series such as So You Think You Can Dance, Rock The Reception as well as MTV’s America’s Best Dance Crew. The duo, who have received Emmy Award nominations for their work, have also directed shows for acclaimed dance crew, the Jabbawockeez, and worked with Cirque Du Soleil. The couple were in town as guests of mega-dance festival, United We Boogie.
The Draw Of Dance
Tabitha, who met her husband when they both took dance classes in college, admits that dancing is a draw for women. She explains, "If you have the moves and you have the moves well, women really find that attractive. When Napoleon and I are together, and he’s dancing really well, I find it exciting. I think it dates back to the time when you’re a teenager and when you go to the school dance. And the guys that were shy and stood with their backs to the wall, but there’d be one guy who would get up and get to the middle of the dance floor and be brave enough to dance with the ladies. Even if he wasn’t fabulous, you see him as fun, free-spirited, ready to have a good time and comfortable enough with himself to not feel guarded. And that’s attractive."
So It’s Sexy?
Tabitha suggests with a laugh, "I hate to say this, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true, but I think women probably think if he’s got good moves on the dance floor then he’s got good moves in bed!" But she does admit that it reflects a bit about the guy’s personality, "It shows the guy’s having fun and having the confidence to enjoy themselves. I find it personally, very sweet and very adorable when a man goes out on the dance floor and enjoys himself, whether he’s good or not. Sometimes he’s a little awkward but if he’s having fun and doesn’t care, that’s kind of sexy in a different way."
But I Have Two Left Feet
It doesn’t matter if you’re not a good dancer, Tabitha says. Just show that you’re having fun. "
If you go for it and it looks like you’re enjoying yourself, and you abandon the nervousness of getting out there, you’ll find that sometimes it doesn’t matter how coordinated you are. You might get the girl," she says.
You don’t even need to be busting your best K-Pop boy band moves. "You don’t have to be super cool on the dance floor," assures Tabitha. "You just need a basic move or two to get you through. As long as you can hear the beat, and smile, and enjoy it, it becomes contagious."
Find Your Groove
Forget about anything fancy or trying to keep up with a 180bpm song. The simple way to get grooving, according to Tabitha, is to find the rhythm – both yours and hers. She explains, "When you’re on the dancefloor, have eye contact with the lady, that’s important. And find her rhythm. If she’s wild, then you can get a little more wild on the dance floor. If she’s kind of calm, then find that rhythm but maintain eye contact and find your own dance and groove together." Of course, this means you’ll probably need to adapt accordingly to the individual girl’s energy or style.
Best Way To Approach Women On The Floor
Stop being shy and make the move! Being honest in this instance is one way to improve your chances. Tabitha suggests, "If you’re there with a friend, then the two of you should approach the circle of girls. And what’s kind of nice sometimes? Instead of barging your way in, ask, “May we dance with you ladies? You look like you’re having a good time.” And maybe that invitation will make the ladies feel “Oh he’s a gentleman, he sees that we’re having fun, let’s have some fun.”
If you fail to make headway with these girls, don’t hang around like hungry vultures. Move on, find a different group of women and make that first group jealous! According to Tabitha, "If the ladies are snobby, and refuse, go find another circle of girls close to them and dance with those ladies and make it look like you’re having a blast. Then they’re going to wish they’d said yes."