Men often resort to home remedies to defeat premature ejaculation (PE) in bed. Here’s what works and what doesn’t. The main thing? Don’t be shy to ask your partner to lend a hand.
Sex is part body, part brain. So, in the heat of passion, some men think about football stats; others think about roadkill. “It works because you’re less sexually present,” psychologist Barry McCarthy says. But beware: If you picture something disgusting or morbid, you’ll train yourself to think that way during sex. And that in itself can lead to erection problems, he says. Better to go with sports.
In a Men’s Health survey, 98 per cent of women said they’d be happy to help train their partner to last longer. So ask your honey to lend a hand: Relax your pelvic muscles as she manually stimulates you. When you’re about to reach the point of no return, ask her to stop and, if necessary, squeeze the head of your penis. Rest until the urge passes, then resume. You’re teaching your body restraint, says McCarthy. You can use a similar strategy during intercourse by changing positions or slowing down.
It’s the most obvious move: Go at it alone first and you’ll last longer in round two. But there’s a downside, says McCarthy: Second orgasms are less intense. The truth is, you have total control over your different stages of excitation, right up to the seconds before you ejaculate. You can also achieve orgasm without ejaculating.Why not use your solo sessions to help prepare for the real thing?
The lube in Durex’s Performax condoms contains benzocaine, a topical anaesthetic that reduces sensation in your penis so you can last longer. The catch: Once your member is slightly numbed, you must keep the condom on. (Men who suffer from PE often take it off.) Why? The residual benzocaine can also numb her vagina.
Drink too much and you won’t be able to get it up. But some alcohol before sex may depress your central nervous system and delay ejaculation. Don’t rely on it, though: You could become sexually dependent on alcohol, and then develop erectile dysfunction while sober, McCarthy says.
Don’t stress yourself out about how you’ll perform in bed. Performance anxiety can ultimately lead to your downfall, especially if you place undue pressure on yourself. "Having sex can sometimes seem like oxymoron, you need to be relaxed, yet focused on the sensations in your body at the same time," says Dr. Lee, "When you let the fear of not performing well enough get to you and you try “hard” to make things work, the results can be counterproductive. No one is born with the ability to control ejaculation. Admitting your anxieties to your partner and learning techniques to control ejaculation can all help. "