We shouldn’t have to remind you that it’s hot outside. Like, switch-on-the-AC-to-20-degrees and take-off-all-your-clothes hot. While that might seem like the right formula for steamier sex, the truth is that higher temperatures can make flesh sessions sweaty and exhausting.
The solution: Go slow. If you dial down the pace, you’ll bring your sex life up a notch.
For starters, you’ll last longer.
And that means you’ll give your partner time to catch up. “Research suggests that, on average, men orgasm through intercourse in about 2 minutes of active thrusting,” says sex therapist Joel Block, Ph.D., Women, on the other hand, take an average of 14 minutes. “Do the math,” Block says. “There’s a 12-minute problem!”
When you slow yourself down, you’re not only giving her better odds for having an O, but you’re also upping your chances for doing it at the same time. Research suggests that holding off your orgasm—a practice that’s called “edging”—can amp up the intensity when you do finally come, making the sex feel even better.
Sex will feel more intimate.
“Slow sex sends a message that’s the opposite of bim, bam, thank you ma’am,” Block says. “It’s more suggestive of giving her time and allowing her to enjoy the pleasure.”
Basically, relaxing your speed can change your normal routine into “woo-me” sex and make it like you’re showering her with affection—even if the sex is, all things considered, business as usual. You can be a romantic superstar simply by slowing down.
So, how do you do it?
“You know Kegels?” asks Block. “Those are the ‘vulva pushups’ that women do. When men do a long [pelvic muscle] contraction during intercourse, they notch down their orgasmic climb a little bit, allowing them to last longer.” Try to hold it for 2 or 3 seconds, let yourself ease down, and then keep going.
By Arielle Pardes