The Move: Missionary is like Sex 101: It’s the way we’re “taught” to have sex, and the way that we see it most often in rom-coms and TV shows.
But although this position is a classic, a missionary man might be a little insecure or “need reassurance by seeing his lover be responsive,” says sex therapist Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of Neurolovology.
You may also be keen on having control during sex, as missionary gives you all the driving power.
Since the position finds both people face-to-face, there’s some intimacy to it—but its basicness suggests the guy might not be confident about the other moves in his arsenal. “It’s romantic, but not very adventurous,” Cadell says.
Switch Things Up: There’s nothing wrong with loving the classics, but make sure you take a walk on the wild side every now and then.
“If you can only climax during missionary, that’s a problem,” Cadell says, and you’ll need to do some “reprogramming” to your sex life.
Try switching to woman on top, which has all of the same intimate qualities, but will let you relinquish some of that control—and spice things up.