Imagine you’re a rookie archaeologist. You probably studied for many years to hone your craft in a prestigious archaeology program at a prestigious university, putting in blood, sweat, tears, and whatever other bodily fluids are essential to being a good archaeologist. You’ve just been hired by some esteemed team to do your first major dig. It’s in China—the modern-day Jiangsu Province near Shanghai, in fact. This is the big time. You’ve been tasked with exploring ancient tombs that belonged to China’s Han Dynasty. Just think of all the fascinating treasures you could find. Think of the historical implications. This is what you’ve worked your whole life for. They’re going to write about you in archaeological textbooks someday. And then you make your first discovery: It’s a sex toy.
In 2009, archaeologists unearthed two 2,000-year-old sex toys that Chinese royals used to pleasure themselves—one with a metal ring attached to it, the other with a flat base, both old as dirt. And although these kinky antiques were sent to a Chinese museum, the public hasn’t been able to see them until now, per The Daily Mail. Both sex toys, as well as lots of other cool artifacts from back in the day that admittedly aren’t as funny as two historic dildos, will be on display at the Asian Art Museum of San Francisco from February 17 to May 28.
Text by Andrew Daniels, image from Asian Art Museum