All men know that foreplay is not optional, so most would try their best to fulfil what they think women expect. Trust me, women appreciate all the hard work. That is why they feel torn about telling you when you get it wrong! Read on for the five biggest misconceptions men have about foreplay – and how you can get it right, especially if you want her purring in the palm of your hands tonight.
Misconception 1: If there is "chemistry", sex should be effortless, so foreplay is not required
Largely because of pornography, men usually think that if there’s “chemistry”, they can dive straight into intercourse. Most film directors are men, so what you see in films reflect what pleases men, not what makes women happy.
“A woman will feel more connected to a man – and more ready for fantastic sex – if she sees he has a sensitive side as well as a hot and passionate one,” says Dr Pam Spurr, a sex expert and psychologist. Be helpful around the house and concerned about how her day went. Make lots of eye contact (above or below the neck, at appropriate times) and express appreciation by saying “thanks” more often. Send her naughty messages detailing what you’re planning on doing to her in bed. “You have to get her mind working on sex,” says Gloria Brame, PhD, a US-based sexologist.
Foreplay involves a gradual increase in sexual arousal and tension, but there is no hard and fast rule on how long it should last. The amount of time she would like to spend could vary according to her hormonal or energy levels, her personality, the atmosphere, other events during the day or even the weather. Whether she’s frisky enough for a “quickie” or longing for sex in slow motion, you’ll have to be attentive to sense what she wants. When in doubt, err on the