As a guy, you’re probably the one who initiates sex in your relationship. It’s not that your girlfriend isn’t in the mood, or doesn’t want as much sex as you do—you’re just the one who rings the dinner bell 99.9 percent of the time.
Why is that?
“This comes from many things, but one of them is that women are afraid that if they step out of traditional gender roles, they won’t be seen, accepted, and appreciated as feminine being,” says psychologist and relationship expert Tracy Thomas, Ph.D.
“It also becomes another area where she could potentially fail, and be rejected—and most women are terrified of being rejected,” he says.
But you can fix this by creating an atmosphere in which she doesn’t feel like she needs to be perfect.
Related: 13 Ways To Turn Her On Instantly
“You want to get her in the mood—make her horny—but what does that mean?” Thomas says. “What you really want is to make her feel like it’s safe for her to let go, like she can surrender to her sexual desires.”
Here are five tips to get her in the mood, so much so, that she’ll come onto you.