#LIFEHACKS

10 Things You’d Love To Hear During Chinese New Year

  • Rarely Would Anyone Notice
    1 / 10 Rarely Would Anyone Notice

    “You’ve lost weight, in a good way. Have you been working out?”

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  • I Also Don't Mind That You're Living With Your Mother
    2 / 10 I Also Don't Mind That You're Living With Your Mother

    “I’m your sister’s work colleague. Yes, I’m single. Yes, I’m attracted to men with pot bellies.”

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  • If You Get What I Mean
    3 / 10 If You Get What I Mean

    “We’re off to Geylang for ‘supper’.”

    Related: Geylang Serai Ramadan Bazaar 2016: 11 Street Foods Reviewed

    Photo: Blemished Paradise, Flickr, CC BY-SA 2.0

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  • Raising The Bar
    4 / 10 Raising The Bar

    “This year, we’re gonna have the family lo hei in the pub.”

    Photo: Jan – Lo Hei, CC BY-SA 2.0

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  • Try Not To Jump For Joy
    5 / 10 Try Not To Jump For Joy

    “Remember that expensive tutor I got for my kids last year, the one I said you had to get for your children?… He’s just been jailed for fraud. And my kids failed all their exams.”

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  • Who Cares About Calories
    6 / 10 Who Cares About Calories

    “Eat them all. I’ve got a second jar of pineapple tarts right here.”

    Related: The Men’s Health Guide To Burning Off The CNY Excess

    Photo: Alpha – originally posted to Flickr as Julia’s Pineapple Tarts, CC BY-SA 2.0

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  • Those Dollars Spent On Haircare Finally Paid Off
    7 / 10 Those Dollars Spent On Haircare Finally Paid Off

    “No, it’s a trick of the eye. You’re not going bald at all.”

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  • I'd Be More Than Happy To
    8 / 10 I'd Be More Than Happy To

    “Considering the dreadful state of the world, our children have decided they don’t want hong baos this year. Could you please make a donation instead to the ‘charity’ of your choice.”

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  • Should Have Went All In
    9 / 10 Should Have Went All In

    “Yeah, that’s blackjack. We’ve all got to pay you double.”

    Related: 3 Scientific Strategies To Win At Poker And Blackjack

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  • My Sincerest Condolences
    10 / 10 My Sincerest Condolences

    “You know that annoying, critical, kaypoh auntie who turns up every Chinese New Year?… She died.”

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