HEALTH

One Night Stands In Singapore: From A Woman’s Point Of View

  • Meet "Claire"
    1 / 8 Meet "Claire"

    Yes, casual sex does happen in Singapore, even if we don’t really talk about it. From the guy’s point of view it’s generally an outlet, a thrill, and something to reminisce about- but what of the ladies? Given it’s a one-night-stand it’s not like you’ll hear from her again, so you never get feedback on how it was for her, and what you should have done, or shouldn’t have.

    “Claire”, a user on a website aptly called the Casualsexproject, shared some details on her experience.

     

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  • How She Met Him
    2 / 8 How She Met Him

    The 26-year-old revealed:” He’s not someone you’d take a second look at while walking along the streets. Knew him (and the whole clique) through a mutual friend, but wasn’t close to him until at least 6 months after knowing him, because there was something going on with another guy in the same clique, but things went south, and he was the one who was asking me how things were, and the only one I could ask about the other guy because he would also ask the other guy about us. Never thought that anything would happen with this guy (I hooked up with in this story) because from the day I knew him, he’s already been with his girlfriend for more than 2 years, and she was in the same clique too. While we were friends, it was only when we became closer that I thought that he could actually be a really good friend because it was easy to talk to him and I felt really comfortable around him.

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  • "What Led To The Hookup?"
    3 / 8 "What Led To The Hookup?"

    “His girlfriend was back home overseas for a period of time, and during that time we started to really hang out every day, always meeting for dinner or supper, or for drinks, sometimes just us both, sometimes with someone else or another couple from the same group. He even accompanied me when I joined another friend (of mine) for dinner when I was afraid that things might be awkward during dinner. The night before we hooked up, we had drinks and chatted the whole night away, both of us sharing details of our lives that not many others or even our common friends knew about. The chatting didn’t only happen over drinks either, after we left we walked around aimlessly, found somewhere to just sit and chill, and had supper after too, the whole time just chatting and enjoying each other’s company. I strongly believe in being able to be friends with the other sex, so I thought this whole time it was just us getting to know each other better as friends. At the same time, I often don’t see the signs coming either because looking back, he obviously dropped some hints I didn’t catch.”

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  • What Happened DURING The Hookup?
    4 / 8 What Happened DURING The Hookup?

    “I needed to study, and he said that he’d accompany me. I was surprised because there wasn’t much for him to do, but he accompanied me anyway while using a laptop. Had dinner together, and then hung around for a bit, when I thought we were going home, he said that he didn’t wanna go home that night, and was gonna stay at some cheap hotel, which he didn’t tell me until we were in the car on the way there. So I accompanied him there, and thought I’d leave in a bit, but it got late and he told me to stay anyway. So bells should have been ringing in my head by now, but no, I stupidly agreed, albeit questioningly. There was once when I spent a night at his place and nothing happened, so I thought it’d be fine too.

    While we were in bed though, there was a certain tension, and both of us could not sleep. After some time just lying in bed and chatting a little at intervals, he asked if I was sleeping, and then rolled over and on top of me and then tried to make out with me. I relented after a while, and he started to finger me and was surprised that I was already wet. We made out and he fingered me more vigorously. Did it cowgirl style, and pretzel.”

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  • What Did The Hookup Do For Her?
    5 / 8 What Did The Hookup Do For Her?

    “Was the hookup satisfying? Somewhat. Did I have an orgasm? No.”

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  • How Did She Feel About It?
    6 / 8 How Did She Feel About It?

    “Waking up and realizing what happened the next day sucked. It was mostly regret and guilt, especially towards his girlfriend, because she was also a friend. Probably the most guilty I’ve ever felt in my life. Obviously, no expectations, because he’s already attached, and I was not expecting him to break up because of me.

    It was still about another week before I went overseas, and by the time I was back, his gf would be back also, so we both knew that whatever was happening or whatever we felt was gonna end when I left. We still met everyday then up until the day I had to leave. When we didnt think about it, we still had fun and just enjoyed each other’s company, but when it came up, I was just wrecked with guilt. We did talk about it, what we were going to do, what we thought/felt, even before it actually happened, and he told me that he was already attracted to me from the beginning, and that he was hoping that the other guy and I started something back then so that he could… give up. Should he not have been attached when we knew each other though, chances of us getting together probably would have been pretty high. So well, I guess things were kinda planned by him too, as my other guy friends said.

    Now, we’re still good friends, occasionally we’d meet alone if it happens to be the case when no one else is free, though we mostly meet only when his girlfriend or the rest are around. There were/are many times when it’s just me, him and his girlfriend, but time’s passed and now it’s like nothing happened. I know he’s still a friend, but it felt like I lost a really close friend too. And sometimes even now, when we’re all together in the group, I still find myself nearly or next to him somehow, and sometimes I wish that I could just hug him freely. I hate the idea that I might have lingering feelings for him though.”

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  • So Why'd She Do It?
    7 / 8 So Why'd She Do It?

    “Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Peer pressure, Didn’t want to disappoint my partner, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, I didn’t want it but was unable to stop it.”

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  • What's Her Thoughts On Casual Sex In Singapore?
    8 / 8 What's Her Thoughts On Casual Sex In Singapore?

    “Growing up in a traditional family, as much as society now is a lot more open about sex and sexual topics, I still grew up thinking that sex was for after marriage and all that. But at the same time, I knew that if the chance came up, I’d have CS, and that made me very conflicted, the idea of ‘I want to’ vs ‘I’m supposed to’.

    It’s let me know that it’s okay, and nothing is going to happen to me just because I’m doing something I’m ‘not supposed’ to. It’s okay to do what you want when you want, as long as you’re not harming yourself or anyone (totally not in this case though).

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