Win Her Jury Over | Men's Health - The World's Largest Men's Magazine

Win Her Jury Over

True, the only people who should matter in a relationship are you and her. But everyone in her life will have an opinion about you, and an unfavourable verdict can cause trouble. Here’s how to earn rave reviews while staying true to yourself.

1. HER FRIENDLY EX
THE FEAR: He’ll be shut out. Coffee dates that were once his domain will be ceded to you, sparking a fear that he’ll be totally forgotten.

YOUR PLAN: Her ability to have a friendship with a former flame shows that she’s mature, so don’t act suspicious – you’ll look jealous and insecure. “Make him feel as if he’s part of her life without always inviting him along,” says LaDawn Black, author of Let’s Get It On: 15 Hot Tips and Tricks to Spice Up Your Sex Life. Example: Giving him a friendly shout-out when they’re on the phone lets them know that you don’t feel threatened.

2. HER FATHER
HIS FEAR: You won’t be able to give his daughter the life she deserves. Even if she has her own career, “most fathers still want to know that their daughters will be taken care of,” says Leil Lowndes, author of How to Talk to Anyone.

YOUR PLAN: Don’t talk salary – it screams insecurity. Instead, ask for his opinion on a financial matter, such as the stocks he’s been following or what he considers the best move for retirement planning. Besides flattering him, you’ll make it clear that you’re a financially responsible guy who plans for the future.

3. HER MOTHER
THE FEAR: You’ll hook her little girl and then hit the road.

YOUR PLAN: If her parents are still together, ask her mother how they celebrated their 25th anniversary or what they’re planning to do for their next. It shows that you’re not a commitment-phobic cad. If your girl’s birthday or an anniversary is coming up, involve her mum in the planning. You’re so thoughtful!

4. HER BEST FRIEND
THE FEAR: You’re another jerk. She’ll notice immediately if you have anything in common with previous jerks. She may turn a cold shoulder at first, warns Black.

YOUR PLAN: Work on befriending her, but be genuine. Take an interest in her problems by offering thoughtful, honest opinions, says Black. Listen when the two gal pals talk about boyfriends past. “You’ll be able to find out what the other men did wrong,” adds Lowndes.

5. HER CAT
THE FEAR: You hate cats. Although Mr Whiskers has no say (we hope) in the relationship, don’t think that she won’t notice if the cat runs the other way when you come over. “Most animal lovers, especially women, see their pets almost as children, so if you don’t share her love, it can be difficult for the relationship to move forward,” says Susan Logan, editor of Cat Fancy magazine.

YOUR PLAN: Let the animal sniff you, and then slowly scratch it under the chin or behind the ears. Ask your girlfriend to let you feed the cat to help it form a positive association – you visit, kitty eats!

From Nov 2008 issue of Men's Health Singapore