A lot of attention has been given to foreplay and how couples should spend time on it as a prelude to mind-blowing sex. But what happens after the act is over is also important, as it can strengthen your relationship and lead to better sex too.
But what is afterplay? It literally means what you do after you play (ie. have sex). While common post-coital actions include falling asleep, reaching for your phone or even leaving the room to get on with your day or night, experts believe that what you do at this point as a couple adds to your overall satisfaction.
You must have noticed that you tend to fall asleep soon after having sex (aka no afterplay whatsoever), thus incurring the ire of the missus. Hwoever, we’ve got your back: science explains that after ejaculation, the male brain will release several chemicals, some of which causes drowsiness. This doesn’t happen with women after they orgasm, which is why they often find themselves staring at the ceiling and wide awake, while their male partner sleeps soundly next to them in a post-coital bliss. But just because you feel sleepy after sex doesn’t mean that you have to fall asleep – or that you can’t do anything before that inevitably happens. Enter afterplay!
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Afterplay doesn’t have to last ages, even just a few minutes of closeness will do. Being physically together right after sex aids couples to feel less empty after such an intimate act – as would be the case if one of you just turns away after you’re done. Afterplay activities include:
Don’t rush to untangle after you’ve both reached the finish line. Stay wrapped around each other and kiss and cuddle for a bit. Tender, non-sexual kisses are best as, even though it’s okay if it leads to Round Two, that isn’t the goal of afterplay. Even just lying together holding hands is sufficient as maintaining physical contact is key here.
Whisper sweet nothings
This is an ideal time to tell each other how you feel. And, if you’ve been together for a long time, it’s a good opportunity to reassure each other about your feelings. Does sex still feel as good with her as it did at the start? Then tell her so. You could even conduct a post-mortem (in a sexy way, of course) of your sex session, picking out the bits you loved most and what you would like to try next time.
Have a laugh
Share a joke or simply make each other laugh. Laughing together is a quick and easy way to bond with your partner. And, if your after-sex glow somehow isn’t enough, laughing together will put a big smile on your face too.
Take a bath or shower together
If you both need to wash up after your sex session (well done on getting so hot and steamy!), why not do so together in the shower? It prolongs the intimacy you shared during sex and if you add stimulating props like aromatherapy candles or bath salts, it could make it just as sexy too.
Afterplay is good for couples as it helps to promote communication and leads to a healthier relationship. But why?
It creates a stronger bond
Afterplay encourages you to communicate when you’re at your most vulnerable and when you feel as close as you possibly can with your partner. The situation itself invites you to share your deepest thoughts and feelings, which can only have a positive impact on your relationship.
It’s not just physical
Being together after sex also assures each other that your relationship goes beyond just the physical aspects. It also takes yourselves away from the physical act and is a sign to your partner that you’ll still be there after all the erotic and sexual acts are over.
It leads to adventurous sex
This is true especially if you discuss your sessions when they’re over. When you both open yourselves up to talking more about sex, you lose your inhibitions and are more willing to discuss new positions or techniques, which means you’ll be eager to try them too. For example, always wanted to experiment with role-play but never felt forward enough to bring it up before? Discussing it with her during afterplay is the perfect time to do so.
It leads to more sex
The theory here is simple: when you develop a closer relationship with your other half, you’ll end up having more sex too. Plus, if you both linger on after you sex sessions and maintain some sort of physical contact, it could lead to more sex and it could set you on a path to marathon sex sessions and multiple orgasms – now, who wouldn’t want that?
By Balvinder Sandhu