You would think that sneaking in some common Internet lingo and netspeak aRe rEallY cOoL wAyS to show you’re tuned in to the new digital world, but when it comes to online dating, that’s a big fail. “I hate misspellings and when guys use ‘LOL’ and things like that,” says Olivia, 30. OKCupid’s findings agree. References to looks – “sexy” and “beautiful” – can cut response rates by at least 10 per cent. ‘U R sexy’ is probably the worst thing you can write. Girls don’t want to date dumb dudes.
“As tempting as it is, winking says you’re lazy and just not that into her,” Davis says. “You need to write a note. Also, don’t combine a wink with a message – it’s like writing in all caps.”
“We all know what you’re looking for at 11pm,”
Dr Eva Ritvo, a psychiatrist and relationship expert, says. “It’s the Internet equivalent of sending a text when you’re drunk.”
As alluring as they may be, beauties who haven’t logged on for weeks should be avoided – you’ll receive the best response from regular users. Virtual Dating Assistants found that messages sent to women who were “Online Now” yielded 60 per cent more responses than did e-mails to women who’d last logged on one to three weeks prior.
Women constantly see subject lines like “hey there”, so two seconds of extra effort can give you an edge over men who write this. “If her profile says, ‘I make the best lasagna,’” says Davis, “your subject could be ‘Battle of the Lasagnas.’” The message itself should be brief – a few sentences referring to her profile and embedding a question to elicit a response, says Russ Ruggles, creator of onlinedatingmatchmaker.com.