Women prefer men who take charge. Seduce her by making her feel special, and have a plan to do something extraordinary.
More than half the women we surveyed said they’d rather that things developed in gradual steps than leaps and bounds. But they also mentioned that whether or not they decide to go home with you, the gentleman should let them decide. “Say: ‘Would you like to come back to my place or shall I take you home?’” advises psychologist Vicki Ford. “But don’t pressure her or make her feel like you expect her to come home with you.”
Technology can be a very seductive tool if you know how to use it. More than 60 per cent of women revealed they enjoyed dirty texting and online flirting. “Because they appeal to her biggest erogenous zone: her imagination,” says psychologist Dr Bonny Hall. An hour or two before your date, send her messages revealing a little bit of what you have in mind for the night – even if it’s just a little naughty.
Nearly 40 per cent of women say the man should make the first move only after our bodies have synced. And we know planting the first kiss is a high-wire act. (One warning sign she’s not ready to jump: She’ll be chattering and desperately trying to fill the silence.) So when she’s ready, give her a kiss on her lips that’s short and sweet, then follow up with gentle kisses around her mouth, face, neck and ears.
Let the intensity escalate naturally, looking for subtle (or not-so-subtle) invitations. Firmer kisses and increasingly forceful caresses signal that she’s ready to speed up. Drive by her breasts or hips with your hands and gauge her reaction. If she tenses, shift to neutral; if she coos, hug the curves. Once you’ve crossed the equator – above or below the clothes – you have the green light to relocate to your bedroom.
What’s the best way to undress a woman? Around 74 per cent said they’d prefer to do it together – slowly. If a woman ends up naked too quickly, she’ll suddenly feel vulnerable and awkward. Instead of fixating on her breasts, divert your attention to the under-appreciated bare body parts. As you undress her, use your hands. Then follow with your lips and tongue, lingering around hot spots like her neck, abdomen = and inner thighs.
Most women feel embarrassed to say what they really want in bed, so you’ll have to coax it out of her. If she hesitates when you ask, try this: Take her finger between your lips and gently suck on it and kiss it. Then ask her if those sensations feel good and where she would like you to duplicate them on her body – and if she’d like firmer or gentler pressure. Giving her permission to tell you exactly what pressure or sensations feel amazing will get you clued in on touching, kissing, licking and sucking her different erogenous zones.
Stash the Kama Sutra! Women aren’t looking for a freak show the first time out. In fact, it’s not even crucial that she climaxes. She cherishes a guy who’s gentle, passionate and tuned in to what makes her feel good, especially during first-time sex. Pause to breathe and re-establish eye contact between kisses, and make her feel sexy by conveying your pleasure.
A proper goodbye includes specifics. Don’t just say you’ll call; tell her you’ll call this afternoon. Then deliver. Better yet, book her for next Saturday: 82 per cent of women prefer to nail down another date before you go. It validates that there was an emotional connection as well as a physical spark, whereas “I’ll call you later” is code for “Goodbye and good luck”.