“People fall in love when dopamine levels rise in their brains,” says biological anthropologist Dr Helen Fisher. This is the neurotransmitter that controls the brain’s reward and pleasure centres. One way to increase dopamine levels is by having more sex. “A recent study found 35 per cent of people ended up having a long-term relationship after a one-night stand,” says Dr Fisher. “This proves the brain circuitry for love and sex are linked.” And to truly blow her mind, learn how to give her the best sex of her life.
"Five pairs of nerves send sensation from different parts of the female body into the “paracentral lobule” – the part of the sensory cortex that prompts orgasm,” says neuroscientist Professor Barry Komisaruk. These regions are the clitoris, vagina, cervix, uterus and – perhaps surprisingly, given they aren’t in the genital system – the nipples.
While the uterus and cervix are best reached via penetrative sex, the other three are very much within easy reach. “Stimulate any individually and you set all of them off at once – producing the strongest, most complex and rewarding type of pleasure.” Here’s how to do it in five simple steps.
Step 1: Ask her what she likes
First, some homework. After a successful sex session, take advantage of her lowered inhibitions and ask which part of her body is “especially sensitive”. If she opts for her nipples, vagina or clitoris, go straight to Step 3. If not, you simply need a crash course in Step 2.
Step 2: Get your hands busy
Softly stimulate the three areas in turn with stroking motions of your fingers and/or tongue. Starting with the nipples, then her vagina and, finally, the clitoris. Simultaneously move around the body with your free hand or hands, caressing her neck, tickling her back and so on. This will help relax her and allow her to “tune into” what excites her most.
Step 3: Locate her trigger
If her breathing begins to speed up, or she starts to arch herself into you, then you’ve found her personal “on” switch. The key to the uber-orgasm is not neglecting the other areas. Ensure you spend equal time (90 to 120 seconds) on her legs, thighs and breasts before moving back to the trigger identified in Step 1 or Step 2.
Step 4: Find your rhythm
Now that you’ve brought her to a denouement, it’s the non-verbal communication that’s crucial. Most women need to focus on the sensations you are providing to achieve the most powerful orgasms; unexpected interruptions can set you back a step. Be aware of her body movements – she will push into you for more pressure or away for less – and set a rhythm with body motions. Echo this pace.
Step 5: Don’t stop
When you are in sync, maintain the motion her non-verbal cues have encouraged. Change the direction, or method, of stimulation and you risk her having to start again, lessening the intensity of her orgasm. “Working through the key areas is like trying to get the water in a half-filled bathtub,” explains Prof Komisaruk. “Now, you just have to wait for it to splash over the top.”