By calibrating conditions to titillate every one of the five senses, you can create the ultimate sensual sex experience both of you will never forget.
The olfactory system is the sense with the most nostalgia, and digging out an old aftershave that might remind her of a particular passionate night could reignite its fervour, says Paula Hall, a UK-based sexual psychotherapist and author of Improving Your Relationship For Dummies. Failing that, go shopping for a different kind of fragrance. “Ylang Ylang is known to have sensual properties, and bergamot is good for invigoration if you’re tired, while sandalwood is meant to boost your sexual energy,” says Hall.
“Unlike men, women need to be relaxed into a state of arousal,” says Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First. If you put on music that’s too intrusive, it’ll distract her and ruin the mood. “Pick something fast if you want to be lively, or something slower if you want to relax and be more sensual,” says Hall. Your best bet is music that’s relaxing, has no vocals and is rhythmic without being overwhelming, says Kerner.
Previously, the thought of bringing anything other than a firm resolve to the bedroom would reduce most men to gibbering wrecks. These days, of course, we’ve a acchanalian banquet of sex toys at our disposal. But with so many choices, which is worth your money? We recommend the Sensual Massager Collection 8X from Mr and Mrs Smith: The Couple Store (www.mrandmrssmith.com.sg). It is fantastic for exploring the contours of your partner’s body, as you build up to the good parts.
“Most of us are visual beings. Seeing her in silk and lace underwear will surely stoke up the sexual furnace,” says clinical sexologist and Men’s Health advisory board member Dr Martha Lee. “Bring her shopping. Get something that she’s comfortable with. Once she sees that you appreciate her dressing up for bed, she’s more likely to be open to repeating the act.” Or try shutting off the sense totally. “Being blindfolded can heighten your sensory perception further,” says Hall.
Watermelons can really get things going in the bedroom. Studies at Texas A&M University found that the fruit’s high lycopene and citrulline content combine to produce a Viagra-like effect. We suggest you eat a slice before proceedings kick off, rather than bring one to bed and risk grievous bodily harm. For food that adds yet another dimension to the sensual feast, think about the shape and texture as much as taste, such as vanilla desert and chocolate, says Hall.