Suzi, 29, was once on a first date with a guy she liked. Until he actually asked her this weirdly old-fashioned question: “Wanna go steady?”
“It was presumptuous,” she says. “I was like, ‘Hold on, cowboy. That’s way too fast.’ He wanted an instant relationship without the requisite of wooing me or getting to know me.”
You probably don’t speak like a guy in a 1950s-era romance, but any attempt to plan your future together—beyond a second date—will probably have the same off-putting effect.
What to do instead: Take your time to get to know her. “Women like to feel special and like you’ve taken the time to get to know them. When you seem like you’re just desperate to get married then it makes women feel interchangeable,” says Jenn Mann, an LA-based licensed psychotherapist and the author of The Relationship Fix.
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