Here’s a sexual stat guaranteed to kill your libido: Ideally, women want intercourse to last 23 minutes, according to a new Journal of Sexual Medicine study. Before you freak—can anyone last that long?—consider this: It’s not necessarily the minutes that matter—it’s intimacy she’s after.
Which means, done properly, a quickie can be just as satisfying as a 23-minute romp. Maybe even more satisfying. “Sometimes, women who wouldn’t otherwise be orgasmic are able to have an orgasm, because there’s a lot of arousal and excitement,” says sex therapist Lisa Thomas, founder of OnlineCouch.com. “It’s an adrenaline rush to try to pull off a quickie.”
That kind of over-the-top arousal doesn’t just energize you in the moment—it can enhance your encounters the rest of time. “Quickies don’t just have to be about time—they can be about diversity in your sexual relationship,” says Monica Lieser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and coauthor of 14 Days of Foreplay. Stepping out of your usual routine can reenergize your sex life altogether.
But although rushed romps are by nature intense—and should be spontaneous—that doesn’t mean you should just wing it. Follow these five steps to ensure all 5 minutes are as mind-blowing as possible—and to guarantee another quickie in the very near future.
Related: Quickie Sex – Do It Right