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You Can Love Her Long Time

"Lasting longer in bed is a matter of experience, skill and confidence,” says  clinical sexologist and Men’s Health advisory board member Dr Martha Lee. “Premature ejaculation is not a disease but a treatable condition.” Train your body to stay the course with these techniques.

DO YOUR KEGELS

These exercises can strengthen your pelvic floor muscles (the same ones you use to stop the flow of urine while you’re peeing) and brain-body connection, and return a feeling of control when you’re approaching the point of no return. “The great thing about kegels is that you can do them anywhere, anytime – sitting at your desk or taking the bus,” says Dr Lee. “Focus on the frequency and, later, the duration and intensity of your squeezes as your muscles get stronger.”

PACE YOURSELF

When you feel you are about to reach orgasm, slow down and think of something else.  (In other words, take yourself mentally out of the situation.) After a few minutes, your arousal should drop, so you can go back to thrusting slowly. If you feel yourself getting too aroused, slow down the pace of intercourse even further, or withdraw altogether. “You can practice this stop-start method in private (during masturbation), where there is reduced stress and expectations,” says Dr Lee. “If you are with your partner, tell her when you need her to slow down or stop her movements for a moment, or have sex with her on top.”

LUBE UP

Use a lubricant during your self-practice to further your mastery of the stop-start method. Stimulate yourself the same way you’d during sex, to the point of ejaculation, and then  slow down or stop until control is regained. “Using a lubricant can mimic actual lovemaking quite accurately,” says Dr Lee. “Simulating the reallife experience can help reduce pressure on the penis, prepare the body for the natural lubricant of a woman, and train yourself to consequently last longer.” If you should choose an oil-based lubricant, remember that it is not safe for use with condoms, and not recommended for use in vaginal penetration.

ADJUST YOUR EXPECTATIONS

“Guys are expected to take the lead, be on top and give women an orgasm before their turn – all in one session,” says Dr Lee. Take the pressure off by agreeing that if you reach climax before her, you can give her oral sex until she orgasms. “Many men project what they think is great sex – penetration – onto a woman. On the contrary, it is the intimacy  that means more to most women. If guys can begin to enjoy sex the way a woman wants it, much of their anxiety would dissipate.”

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