When Sex Becomes A Pain

Sex injuries are probably our favourite kind of wounds, as long as they don’t land us in Accident & Emergency in the wee hours of the morning, or cause us to be the butt of jokes when news of it leaks. Here’s how to deal with the contusions and marks that can happen when things get too hot in the bedroom.

Sore Penis
Congrats, you’re a tiger! Treat a sore penis like any other injury caused by too much abrasion: Use moisturising lotion that’s made for sensitive skin to help speed up the healing. (But try not to get too carried away with this treatment.)
 
Penile Fracture
You’ll hear a loud pop or snap when a fracture occurs. Then, swelling, bruising and excruciating pain will follow. You should get yourself to the doctor’s or the A&E as soon as possible. In the meantime, use a cold compress (wrap ice in a towel) to reduce the swelling. “Penile fractures can be fixed surgically, but the longer you wait, the worse your prognosis,” says urologist James Regan.
 
Injured Testicle
If she happens to accidentally knee you between your legs, take it like a man. Chances are, the pain will only last a few minutes. But if the pain doesn’t subside, lie on your back and place a rolled-up towel under your scrotum to prevent the blood from pooling. Then apply a cold compress to it for five to 10 minutes. If there’s swelling or discolouration, see a doctor to ensure you haven’t damaged a testicle.
 
Rug Burn
If you’ve skinned your elbows or knees, rub the wound with antibiotic ointment. Then cover it with non-stick bandages so that it will stay moist until it recovers. Next time, throw a soft cotton blanket on the floor, or let her take control by being on top.
 
Fingernail Marks
As long as your skin’s not broken, a moisturiser should make the scratches go away in a day or so. If she clawed you until you bleed, try applying some aloe vera gel or antiseptic ointment.
 
Leg Cramps
If you’re not well-hydrated, your leg muscles are the most likely ones to cramp during sex, says Dr Lewis Maharam, a US-based sports medicine specialist. Stretch out until it stops cramping. To prevent the pain, drink a glass of water or two before playtime.
 
Love Bites
Hickeys are caused by excessive suction that makes small blood vessels under the skin break, spilling blood into the surrounding tissue and turning the area red or discoloured. It’ll change from red to blue and then brown before it heals in a few weeks. The only solution: Ask to borrow her concealer (makeup).

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