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Sex & Relationships

Touch Her In All The Right Places


Women in clubs are 50 per cent more likely to accept a dance invitation if it is paired with gentle contact, according to a study by the university of Bretagne-Sud in France. “Discreet touching signals the first stages of the mating ritual,” says Judi James, author of Sex Signals: Decode Them and Send Them. “If a woman ‘accepts’ your touch, her response will be to touch you back,” says James. Work towards that with these pointers.

“Closing in on your prey in a busy bar is easy,” says relationships expert Tracey Cox. “Lightly rest your hand on her lower back as you pass, as if you’re trying to avoid knocking into her. She’ll turn around. If she looks pleased, step back slightly. If she’s really keen, she’ll subconsciously slide in to close the gap.” If she recoils instead, at least you’ll get to the bar quicker.

“‘Steer-touching’ can be sexy as long as it’s not done in a controlling or overpowering way,” says Jo King, founder of the London School of Striptease. “Lightly touching her elbow to guide her as you walk together, such as steering her out of the way of a low table or traffic, can make you seem more protective and caring.” Be careful not to spill her drink at the same time though.


The back of her ear is a key erogenous zone. “It’s hugely sensitive and less difficult to touch than you’d think,” says Cox. “Admiring her jewellery is the easy way in there – compliment her earrings. Then accidentally brush your fingers behind her ears at the same time. The trick is to be gentle.”


“Our faces are highly intimate zones, so wait until you’re convinced that she’s interested. At the right time, touching her there is incredibly effective,” says Cox. “The ‘you’ve got an eyelash on your cheek’ line is corny, but it works,” says King. “If you’re unsure about how she will feel about you pawing her face, try brushing a piece of imaginary lint off her shoulder and see how she responds.” Just don’t pretend it’s dandruff.

“Touching someone’s hand is both an innocent and intimate thing to do, so it works well in flirting,” says King. “Try leaning across to touch the back of her hand to emphasise a point.” Lightly take her hand to look at a ring or compliment her slender fingers and you’ve instantly created a dominant/submissive relationship. Unless you find yourself looking at a wedding ring, that is.


“Brushing her inner arm between the wrist and elbow is very seductive,” says James. The skin there is very thin and the nerves are close to the surface and extremely sensitive. “It’ll remind her of sex without being too obvious.” Try pointing something out and as you lean in, place your fingers on her forearm and hold them there for a couple of heartbeats. But think twice if you’ve just eaten garlic.


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