Stop Being Mr. Average

The average man does okay with the ladies. But with our guide, you can outperform his stats every time.

Last longer in bed

Good things come to those who wait… unfortunately, there's a 33 per cent chance the average bloke will shoot before she scores.

If you’re losing control, think of Masters and Johnson. “These two renowned sex therapists  broke down sexual response into four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution,” says Dr Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First. “Most men crash through plateau straight to orgasm, but the trick is identifying your point of no return.” Which sounds harder than remembering the top 20 Premiership scorers.

“Rate your excitement from one to 10,” says Kerner, referring to sex rather than Cristiano Ronaldo’s step-overs. “Keep yourself at seven by slowing thrusts and getting her on top, so you’re less stimulated. If you’re edging eight, squeeze below the head of your penis. This represses the ejaculatory response.” Just like meeting your mother-in-law, but less embarrassing at this juncture.

Pick up women better

The average man will have seven one-night stands in his lifetime. And you all seem to be sharing the same few floozies, too, since 90 per cent of women consider them immoral. How do you outperform this?

Pick a scantily dressed target. The trusty “the less she puts on, the more she puts out” equation has hard science behind it. University of California researchers found that when women are ovulating, they flash more flesh to attract a mate. “She won’t realise this subconscious desire to secure your swimmers, but she will be hornier,” says Siski Green, author of How to Blow Her Mind in Bed.

And make yourself heaven-scent. Research in the journal Human Reproduction found women’s sense of smell is most sensitive when they’re at their most fertile, so take advantage with citrus aftershave. Northwestern University researchers in the US found citrus smells increased your “likeability”. Try Lacoste Pour Homme ($82 for 50ml, Lacoste, #01-163 Suntec City Mall).

Have more sex, more often

The average guy spends 75 hours a month thinking about sex. This is in stark contrast to the 4.5 hours he actually spends doing it – and he’s not happy. The Durex sex survey has found only 33 per cent of men are satisfied with how often they have sex, and only 38 per cent reckon it’s worth the wait. Hardly worth taking your socks off, really.

No need to cash your bonds and  head for Bangkok. The sure-fire route to more action is giving her more, bigger orgasms. “The anticipation of peel-me-off-the-ceiling orgasms spikes her sex drive,” says Dr Yvonne Fulbright, author of Touch Me There.

“See the Missionary as a sexual hors d’oeuvre,” says Dorian Solot, co-author of I Love Female Orgasm. “Then lie on your side with her on her back at 90 degrees and get her to swing both legs over your hips. The shallow thrusts will stimulate her G-spot and provides easy access for stroking her clitoris.” 

Next: Mr Average has a 20 per cent chance of scoring first-date sex. Improve your odds.

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