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So You Want To See Her Again?

You're eager to set up a second date with her especially after the wonderful evening you shared last night. How do you ask her out without appearing too desperate, too eager or too demanding?

Keep It Casual
Treat it as a non-date and you'll be easing a lot of pressure off your broad shoulders. Anisa Hassan, managing director of It's Just Lunch Asia, suggests, "Pretend you're already doing a fun activity (with or without her) and all you're doing is asking if she'd like to come along. For example, " Hey, I'm heading to East Coast to rollerblade this Sunday evening, would you like to join me?" 

Don't Call It A Date
Anisa says, "It starts to get significant when you use the D-word. Focus on the activity and position it in the same informal way you would ask a friend out." So, avoid using the word date in your invitation so she won't feel under pressure to accept or decline your request. Similarly, you won't feel under pressure waiting for her to respond and especially when her answer is negative. She's not rejecting you, maybe she doesn't rollerblade!

Drop A Hint
You need to pay attention to her conversation and pick up one or two good points about her interests. Anisa recommends, "If she enjoys hiking, casually mention that you two should go hiking together some time. Then proceed to ask about her favourite hiking trails. That's a big hint, so let it simmer for a while. Listen to her response and gauge her enthusiasm." If she's excitedly locking the date down in her calendar, then bingo. Otherwise, try a different interest that she may have mentioned, like inviting her to an upcoming gig at TAB or Timbre if she's a music lover.

Take Control
How do you get her to commit if you are vague in your interest? Be specific and take charge of your own destiny. Telling her "I want to take you out for coffee tomorrow night" is better than "Let's go out again some time...", says Anisa. Plus, it's sexy that you're taking control,  she adds.

Sometimes girls really are just waiting for guys to make the first move, according to Men's Health's Girl-Next-Door, Melissa de Silva. "However, if you do ask directly (and normally) and she continues to evade a commitment to meet up, then you can consider this a signal that she’s not about to make any deeper commitment to you," she says. In that case, better drop it and scroll to someone else in your Contacts list.

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