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Are you waiting for the perfect woman before getting married? Or are you afraid that a life of monogamy is going to ruin your sex life? Here's the reality about tying the knot - some of it might surprise you.
Myth: Marriage equals boring sex
Truth: Married guys have more - and better - sex
The belief that monogamy diminishes a man is derived from a narrow, sexual idea of manliness. A husband is a caretaker, plumber, subduer of intruders and, with some luck, father. And all of those roles call forth masculine, testosterone-inducing energies that invite a man towards the fullness of everything he might become. The best part: Husbands actually have more – and better – sex than single guys. Study after study shows that, on average, married guys go up to bat more often than their unattached buds. Sure, there are a few truly blessed single men who have it all – men who have a lot of sex with a lot of women. But, honestly, do you think you’re one of them? Really? And even if you are, will you still be one of them in 10 years? Twenty? No, if optimum sex is truly the goal, the smart money is on marriage.
Myth: Fireworks means she's the one
Truth: Grow up. That head-over-heels stuff is for kids
We all want to believe that our hearts will go boom when she crosses the room, and that we’ll know for sure she’s the one. But that happens way more often to school kids than it does to grown men with some mileage in them. In fact, the more self-reliant you are, the less likely you are to go all wobbly the instant she wanders into the frame. The absence of besotted feelings may say nothing about your girlfriend’s shortcomings as a love object and much about your maturity. Sure, lightning bolt love happens now and then, but don’t wait around for it. Because, first, it’s no guarantee of anything. And, second, lots of women who don’t leave you breathless at the outset can inspire you plenty a few years in. That head-over-heels stuff is for kids. A man wants a partner, not someone to make him whole.
Myth: She has to have it all before I'll marry her Truth: If she's less than perfect, you two have another thing in common
Many a man balks at pulling the marriage trigger because he appraises a woman the way he’d size up an appliance, and then decides she just doesn’t have all the features he’s looking for. Well, a woman doesn’t need great beauty, brains or wit to be a fabulous partner and a person very much worth loving throughout your life. Think of it this way: If she’s less than perfect, well, that’s just something else the two of you have in common. In the end, there’s only one appraisal that truly matters: Will she dig in with you when trouble comes? Also, consider the idea – often expressed by therapists – that men who can’t commit may not feel entitled to love. That may be psycho-doublespeak, but check yourself to be sure. Make it a point to know that you’re worthy of the best life has to offer.