Her Say: Handsome Not Enough
October 26, 2010
By Ana Issac
A line in Shania Twain’s song, You Don’t Impress Me Much, goes like this: “So you’ve got the looks, but have you got the touch?” Much too often, men who are blessed with model-esque good looks think they’re God’s gifts to women. Unfortunately, they can’t be farther from the truth. Yes, there’s no denying good looks are important to us, but to make us really swoon, we’re looking for the complete package with the following attributes.
Finesse And Charisma
George Clooney has it in spades. So do Al Pacino and Josh Holloway. And Asian hearthrobs Hidetoshi Nakata and Takeshi Kaneshiro both hold their own. Other than to-die-for looks, all possess that certain je ne sais quoi, as the French so cleverly put it. In English terms, we call it aura or, perhaps, charisma. You may think that this kind of chick-wielding talent is something a man’s either born with or without. But I beg to differ. Finesse and charm are qualities that are learnt and refined as one grows older and wiser.
There is something really sexy about a man who knows what he wants, decides on a course of action to accomplish his objectives, and then goes all-out to pursue it passionately. To a woman, this is a quality that shines beyond a man’s reflection in the mirror.
The third trait on the list that’s often unwittingly undervalued by most men (but highly prized by women) is thoughtfulness. It’s a characteristic that can be cultivated, but it’s hard to master. And the ones who fail are those who try too hard and eventually decide to give up halfway.
Guys who are sincerely thoughtful (without any ulterior motive) usually also possess a type of indescribable vulnerability. And it’s this “authentic weakness” that really captures a girl’s imagination. The point here is, we know it when you send flowers or candy as a guilt offering or, even worse, bait. So scrap that plan. We want to be charmed, not “smarmed”.
Apart from the movie star quality that makes the likes of Pacino and Clooney so swoonworthy, guys who really get us girls going are never mere boys. For some of you, it may mean cutting down on your happy-hour habit. Think about it: After you hit a certain age, it’s just not cool to be seen dead drunk with your head in the gutter outside Zouk on Wednesday nights.
Age is a mental and emotional quality, and maturity, wisdom and a sense of knowing are far, far sexier than naiveté, childishness and, yes, virginity. I’ve been with older men who sadly lack these qualities that age is meant to bring. Perhaps the problem begins with habits and beliefs formed in youth that drag on through their years.
Thankfully, I happen to be in a loving relationship with a young man who is far more open to new ideas and comfortable in his skin than some men who are way older than him. Well, I wouldn’t say he’s a George or Al (yet), but there’s just something about him that gets my wheels turning.
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