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Her Say: Don't Compare Her To Your Mother

By Sonia Sandhu

Mothers. We all love them, don’t we? Heck, we sometimes even fall in love with our boyfriend’s or husband’s mother, who we affectionately call “auntie” or “mum”. We usually have no problem with mothers… unless you start comparing us to them. For generations, men have been comparing their mates to their mothers. Fair enough: Your mother brought you up to be the good man you are today – good enough for us to want to marry you. And we thank her for that. But, please, don’t ever compare us to her. Why? Here are a few reasons:

It's Plain Rude
Just like the women who compare their kids to their friends’ children, it’s just insulting for a man to compare his wife or girlfriend to anyone, not just his mother. Of course, it’s far worse when you’re using your mother as a comparison, because the type of affection that you have towards her is totally different from the love you have for us. (At least we hope that it is.)
We understand you comparing us to your exes; heck, we do a bit of that ourselves, too. But your mother is a whole different ball game altogether. So don’t even go there, dude.

We're Not The Domestic Goddess That She Is
Times have changed. Women no longer spend all their time tidying up their homes, plumping up the cushions, baking cookies and sewing pockets into your trousers (unless you’re Martha Stewart – and we all know even she has flaws). Women of this generation view housework as cleaning the house, cooking meals and, well, that’s it.

If you asked us if we “plumped up the cushions” today, we’d think you were making a negative comment on our body. Also, cookies can be bought almost anywhere, so they don’t need to be baked at home. Yes, we do agree that a home smells absolutely divine with the scent of freshly baked cookies wafting through, but if you want to come home to that smell, we suggest you spend the night at your mother’s.

We'll Never Be As Good As Your Mother
Let’s face it – we can never live up to your mother’s stature. Unless your mum has the parenting skills of Courtney Love and Britney Spears put together – and we doubt she does – we know we’ll never be better than her or even be like her. She has, after all, spent a lot more years with you and, therefore, has a massive head start over us, so we’re pretty much playing a losing game here. So do us a favour and don’t make us feel worse about ourselves by comparing us to she-who-can-do-no-wrong.

We're Not Here To Mother You
There’s a reason you chose to be with us. There must be something about us that makes you love us, and it’s probably because we’re nothing like your mother. And don’t deny it, because you wouldn’t be comparing us to her if we were exactly like her. So don’t expect us to mother you like her. Or clean up after you. Or cook your favourite meals more than once a month. Or mend the buttons on your shirt at the drop of a hat. But we can do something your mother has always done – give you a cuddle when you need one. (And lots more.) Now, beat it, Mummy!

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