Convince Her To Stay The Night
February 15, 2012
If you're keen to coax the drop-dead stunner you've been dating between the sheets, you will need to play your cards right. That means a fair amount of preparation to set up the right atmosphere that will convince her to stay the night.
2PM: Message Her
Send her a text casually reminding her of the plan: Dinner at your place. Two thirds of women find men with culinary skills more attractive, and knocking up a meal at your place shows you are competent, decisive and in control. Plus, the effort you’re putting in communicates a very seductive message, says Jodi Ambrose (www.jodiambrose.com), author of Sex: How to Get More. Namely, you’re interested in far more than just a post-dinner tumble. (Which is exactly why you’re going to get one.)
6PM: Put On A Red Shirt
Spruce yourself up – shower, shave, scent – and pair your best jeans with a scarlet shirt. University of Rochester researchers in the US found women perceive men who wear red as more powerful, attractive and sexually desirable.
7PM: Start Cooking
Feel free to flex your gastronomic muscles, but don’t go to too great lengths. The last thing you want is to be slaving in the kitchen while she glazes over on the sofa. Pick something safe and run it by her. Incorporating a few libido-boosting foods can’t hurt either.
7.05PM: Get Her Involved
Invite her to help with the meal. Your kitchen is the perfect place to get some sparks flying (and not just on the grill). “Subtle touches on the arm, an accidental bump while chopping the veggies, putting your hand on the small of her back as you slip past her – all these create an intimate but not intimidating environment,” says Ambrose. Physical contact triggers her body to release the hormone oxytocin, which researchers from Indiana University in the US say radically increases her sexual receptivity. Brush her upper arm lightly as you tell her the food is ready. A study at Missouri Western University in the US discovered this solidifies a positive opinion of you in her mind.
7.30PM: Subtly Steer The Conversation
If all’s going well, you’ll both be on your second glass of wine by now. (Make sure there’s a bottle on the table, even if she doesn’t wish to indulge: A study at the University of Denver in the US found sexual expectations on a first date are increased when alcohol is available.) Let her take the lead in the conversation, but don’t be afraid to steer things towards risque topics.
8.30PM: Read The Signs
Time to take stock. Pay close attention to her body language. Is she angled towards you? Has she absent-mindedly touched you? Does she keep touching her ears or hair? Is she leaning slightly forward? If so, begin subtly mimicking these encouraging signs. Mirroring her movements fosters intimacy and creates the idea that you are compatible in her subconscious. Keep your eyes on her wrists, in particular. “Showing the inside of her wrists is a sure sign she’s into you,” says body language coach Robert Phipps. Use any excuse you can to lightly touch them. A study at the Kinsey Institute revealed her wrists are among her most sensitive areas.
10PM: Kiss The Girl
If all her signals are flashing – easy, now – subvert her expectations with a peck on the neck. “Instead of going straight for the kill, kiss her on the side of the neck from behind. The kiss will be far more sensual and passionate, without being sexually aggressive,” says Ambrose. If the kissing continues, perfect. If not, all is not lost. Give her a bit of time and space; she may well be enjoying the anticipation.
11PM: Offer Her A Ride
This is often the tricky part. You need to let her know you want her to stay, without sounding insistent or needy. Offer her a ride home with an expression that makes clear you’d rather escort her somewhere closer. If she prevaricates even a little, offer her your bed. Both of you know she won’t be sleeping in it alone, but you’re observing a chivalrous code that will placate her desire not to seem slutty and make her feel good about staying. “If she gets even the slightest hint you don’t respect her, she is never going to sleep with you,” says Ambrose. As ever, it’s the gentleman that gets the girl.
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