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Many guys are attracted to and, at the same time, intimidated by beautiful, independent women. They ogle from afar, but think such women are too career-minded and will eventually put them as a secondary priority in their lives. Here’s the thing: I consider myself pretty damn independent. And I feel bad for a lot of guys I date because I can be pretty hard to pin down. I have my social calendar booked up occasionally weeks in advance, and the rest of my time is spent at work. But the tough truth is that if I’m really into someone, I’ll try really hard to make it work.
That said, it is a delicate balancing act. I can like a guy just fine, and enjoy spending time with him, but just honestly not have very much time in my schedule. That’s why, especially at the beginning of a relationship, a guy needs to do a bit more leg work. A guy who tries really hard shows me that he’s willing to put in the effort to make things work, and gives me reason to reciprocate. If you’re planning on catching the attention of an independent woman, try these tips.
Don't Be Wishy-Washy
If she’s an impossible woman (like me), you need to be open about wanting to hang out but not be overbearing about it. Send her an e-mail, saying: “Hey, can we grab dinner sometime this week or next? What’s your schedule looking like?” Make solid plans with her, have solid ideas for things to do, and ask far, far in advance. Don’t be wishy-washy… if she’s busy, she can say, “Sure, I’d love to hang out sometime” every day (and even mean it), but that doesn’t mean you’re going to make it onto her calendar.
Play It Cool
As far as not being overbearing, if she still won’t commit to a solid date and time, she’s likely not as busy as she’s disinterested. If she does commit to actual dates, send her an e-mail or two throughout the week to let her know you’re thinking of her and hoping she’s having a great day. If she’s into you, she’ll appreciate it. (Also, new science indicates that being flirtatious – but not totally obvious about your feelings – will pique her interest.)
Go For The Day Date
My nights are always more quickly booked than my weekends during the day. Ask her to go to the pasar malam with you – or for coffee, or a walk – on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, and she’s much more likely to say yes than if you ask her to drinks or dinner.