You've met her. Maybe you work with her – the woman who hints at possibilities. But when flirting turns to invitation – and it’s clearly not your imagination – you have a decision to make. Here’s how to keep the faith without losing the excitement.
1. Don't Fight The Feeling
Cherish your lust, but only the good kind. So what’s the bad type? The kind that hoots at and objectifies women – that stupid, grunting, hubba-hubba type. Good lust? It’s the one that might even be described as zest or vitality, maybe reverence – perhaps an appreciation of all womankind. A man without good lust is an insensate mass, a lump. Remember this: The feelings are not a problem – acting on them is. The point here is to channel your lust correctly, like towards the missus.
2. Keep The Passion Burning At Home
Lots of guys who step out plead sexual deprivation or boredom at home. And, often enough, a good case can be made. But here’s an important pointer about staying faithful: If your sex life isn’t everything you’ve dreamt of, have you given it everything you’ve got? Ask yourself how much effort do you bring between the sheets. The danger is that because the cliche of the nottonight- I’ve-got-a-headache wife is so deeply embedded in our heads, when a couple’s sex life withers, men assume it’s because the chicks don’t dig it as much as we do. Maybe. But maybe not. And one more thing: Stay lusty out of bed, too. Talk to her. Express yourself. Confide in her. Listen to her. Trust is a turn-on for women. It’ll fire up the old slapand- tickle.
3. Can You Live With The Consequences?
You’ll tell yourself that nobody will know. But that’s not true. Your partner will find out. Think your infidelity will stay a secret? A US survey rates the odds at 20 to 1 – against. You may feel so guilty that you’ll actually drop the dime on yourself. Or your partner-in-crime may be a wild card. The point is, if you’re a decent man, your babe will somehow pick up the wobble in your soul. How? We don’t really know, but it’s one of those unexplainable glories of human beings. Premonition, perhaps. If you change; she’ll know.
4. Staying Faithful Yields More Sex
Statisticians have determined that monogamous married men actually get laid more often than any other group of guys. Of course, in any particular week, month, year or even decade, single guys and tomcats can get more nookie than stalwarts. But over the course of a lifetime, married men ace the game hands down. Now, granted, this says nothing about the quality of said sexual events. Just that when the final score is tallied, slow and steady – three times a month till you die – really does win the race.