5 Ways To Be A Better Wingman
October 19, 2010
Meeting women can be a daunting task if you're working solo. You'll need a good buddy to back you up and take on the job of a wingman. This partner-in-crime has one sole aim - to help you score with a hottie tonight.
The role of wingman originates from the airforce where it refers to the pilot who flies outside and behind (on the wing) of the formation's flight leader. With him in support, the flight leader has an extra lookout during dogfights and sorties. In recent years, this concept of a wingman has been adapted to the realm of dating and pick-ups through books like The Game by Neil Strauss and television series, How I Met Your Mother. The role remains the same - The wingman is the guy (or sometimes, girl) who helps you get on the inside track with the ladies so as to boost your chances of knowing them.
A good wingman isn't just someone you pick from your list of friends; He needs to possess certain qualities in order to help you score tonight. These are five characteristics of a good wingman.
He Is Charming
If you can't do it yourself, a wingman may be called upon to break the ice between you and the intended female target. If he doesn't already know the woman involved, then the wingman needs to win her trust and he needs to do it fast. Then, the wingman has to convince the woman that you are worth the introduction, without making you out to be some desperado on a six-month dry spell. "A good wingman doesn't make an arse of himself such that the women they're hitting on get turned off and leave en masse," warns social media advocate, Gavin Tan.
He Removes Obstacles
Obstacles come in many shapes and sizes. If the woman in question came with a girl friend, then the wingman's job is to take that other girl out of the picture so you can have alone time with said target. Asking her to dance is a common tactic. By distracting this friend, your female target may also feel less stressed about rejecting you. Since she's seen how her friend has company for the night, she won't feel guilty about leaving that friend alone to go off with you.
What if she came with a guy friend? Observe the pair and decide if they're a couple. If not, the wingman enters the fray by distracting the dude. No dancing involved here - just ply him with drinks, direct his attention to other girls nearby or just keep him yakking the whole night. Your wingman will do all he can to make sure that this other guy doesn't pay any attention to the girl he came with. Guess who will reap the rewards?
Gene, 32-year-old PR executive, shares his experience, "We spotted a group looking a little lost in a crowded club one night. I struck up a conversation with one of the guys. After a few drinks and shots, he introduced us to everyone else. I kept everyone else entertained (or distracted) while my friend got to know this one girl from the group he was drawn to. During this time, I also played the runner, making sure he didn't have to leave the girl's side, while I placed orders and collected drinks as well. I was quite plastered, but I had made a mental note to not leave till he at least exchanged numbers."
He Knows Your Strengths
Your best buddy would know all about you; from your best features to your worst fears, and even what type of girl you like. These are all information he can use to better sell you to your prospective target. Are you a keen guitar player? Do you work in a bank? Be sure that your wingman will be playing up these attributes when he's making the introductions. He could also use this knowledge to match you accordingly to the girl you're after, so expect him to be quick on his feet.
He Always Makes You Look Good
When bantering in a group, and there are women involved, there's always a chance that the jokes could go a bit too far. You shouldn't face such one-upmanship from a good wingman. He will never make you look stupid or put you down in front of strangers, especially female ones. Instead, a good wingman will take advantage of such opportunities to play up your strong points. Says Kae Fong, a 32-year-old consultant, "While we usually crack jokes at each other, I don't do it if there's a girl he's interested in. In fact, I ask him questions that allow him to 'show off' in his answers."
A good wingman also helps make sure you're 100 per cent well-groomed all the time. This includes telling you when you have spinach stuck between your teeth, a zipper that's left undone or to offer a breath mint from time to time. He is not obliged to physically correct you but a quiet word in your ear is the least you should expect.
He Knows When To Make An Exit
Just as a good wingman knows how and when to make his entrance, he will also know when to make his exit. Once he's confident that his job is done and the both of you are catching on like a house on fire, the wingman can call it quits for the night. Typically, he will hang around for a short while after making the introduction, before slipping into the shadows.
But a good wingman won't leave just yet. "He is always alert to his friend's conversation with the ladies so he can jump in and salvage the situation if the dude says something wrong," says Gavin. He's not going to pressure you into reciprocating the favour straightaway. There's always another night to reverse your roles. So even if he has to go home alone that night, a good wingman is unselfish that way because as they say, two is company but three's a crowd.
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