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Gym: 10 Things You Should NEVER Say When Working Out

  • Talk About Your Deepest Darkest Secrets
    1 / 10 Talk About Your Deepest Darkest Secrets

    “To tell you the truth, I only come because I have a Lycra fetish.”

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  • It's Totally Unintentional
    2 / 10 It's Totally Unintentional

    “Yeah, we can share the bench press. Although I probably should say that when I really strain, a little bit of wee comes out.”

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  • Next Time, Wear Another Layer
    3 / 10 Next Time, Wear Another Layer

    “Those shorts are really tight. I didn’t realise you’d been circumcised.”

    Related: Will Circumcision Give You Better Sex?

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  • It's Probably The Curry For Breakfast
    4 / 10 It's Probably The Curry For Breakfast

    “Yeah, it was me. I don’t know what it is, but heavy lifting and flatulence always seem to go together.”

    Photo by Aqua Mechanical, Flickr, CC BY 2.0

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  • I'm Scared Of Ghosts
    5 / 10 I'm Scared Of Ghosts

    “I’m gonna take a shower. Would you care to join me?”

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  • In Other Words, Your Shirt's Too Tight
    6 / 10 In Other Words, Your Shirt's Too Tight

    “I don’t mean to stare, but you just have such well-defined nipples.”

    Related: The Truth About Nipples, Foreskin, and Wisdom Teeth

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  • Starting To Doubt Your Abilities
    7 / 10 Starting To Doubt Your Abilities

    “Maybe you should lift something a little lighter, like a pillow.”

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  • Claiming Territory Like A Boss
    8 / 10 Claiming Territory Like A Boss

    “I’ve gotta update my parking coupon. So I’m gonna chope this exercise bike with a tissue packet.”

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  • And Stink Up The Whole Room
    9 / 10 And Stink Up The Whole Room

    “I don’t need a towel. I prefer to just stand here and air dry.”

    Related: Why You Should Take Cold Showers Every Morning

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  • Offering Free Massages
    10 / 10 Offering Free Massages

    “It’s all right, boys. I’ve brought the baby oil. Who wants a rubdown?”

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