Crimes of passion are often the mainstay of salacious tabloid stories… fodder for bored housewives and armchair thrill seekers. But as outrageous as they may sometimes seem, at the heart of the matter lie very real people and issues. Love gone awry, it seems, is the stuff that transforms ordinary relationships into extraordinary crimes; everyday people into uncommon monsters.  

And we’ve read it many times before – girl gets fed-up with boyfriend/husband for some reason or other. Girl takes secret lover. Boyfriend/husband finds out, goes berserk, harms or kills rival (maybe girlfriend ends up taking collateral damage along the way) and possibly, overcome with remorse or afraid of the consequences, takes his own life. It’s an all-too-common scenario that plays out in our neighbourhoods more often than we’d give it credit for. 

But really, all an aggrieved fella would need to do in such instances is just take a step back and evaluate the situation for what it really is. Rather than rush out after the discovery with a concealed stabbing weapon on the pretext of meeting your girl and giving her a shiny new present, just take a step back. Think. And weigh the consequences. 

The feelings of hurt and betrayal will be scathing at first, but taking a step back will also allow you to reflect on your relationship to see what other issues need to be recognised and dealt with… if you feel you have something still worth fighting for. What would have led to such a situation in the first place? Once you’ve had the clarity that space affords, sit your partner down and talk to her. Playing the blame game at this point is just a waste of energy, and won’t change anything. You’ll want to see what options you have on how you can take this forward. 

But even if you don’t, and you do eventually choose to leave, don’t beat yourself up over the death of the relationship. Given the concept of how ‘love’ should be, with happily ever after and all that, you might be better off not sticking with an unfaithful partner at the end of it all. 

Even something as unpleasant as walking away can be done the right way – with a bit of finesse, and your dignity, honour and freedom intact.