Well, yes, in the spirit of post-season boredom, we've decided to draw up our own Men's Health Barclays Premier League awards. In order to lend some impartiality to these awards, having been accused of biasness towards all things Manchester United, I've enlisted the help of two of the top Singapore finishers from the MSN Fantasy Football league: 29-year-old Kugendren Puranavalu, who led his Fantasy_Team1234 to the top of the table; and 30-year-old Lewis Babbage, third place finisher with team Idea. We were thinking of paying these guys for their contribution until we found out the top three Singapore MSN Fantasy Football league finishers won a total of US$4,000 between them. I'm so taking part next year.

But enough of the jibber-jabber, here are the nominees and winners for (drum roll please)...

Player of the Year
Kugendren: Nemanja Vidic (Manchester United)
"He was the rock and pillar behind Man Utd's success."
Lewis: Nemanja Vidic
"A few poor games shouldn't detract from an excellent season."
And the award goes to...Nemanja Vidic
Manchester United's Player of the Year, Vidic's rock solid performances at the back was a huge contribution to Van der Sar's record number of clean sheets, and United's title defence. No other player in the league had this much of an influence on the title result.

Manager of the Year
Kugendren: Alex Ferguson (Manchester United)
"The best manager in England, and possibly the world."
Lewis: Roy Hodgson (Fulham)
"Took a poor Fulham team and made them into a hard to beat Europa team."
And the award goes to...Roy Hodgson
Hate to give Sir Alex the snub but I have to go with Lewis on this one, as much as I agree with Kugendran's statement. Hodgson had already pulled off a minor miracle in securing Fulham's tenure in the top flight last season, but to lead them to a seventh place finish this season? That's like striking 4D twice in successive draws.

Most Improved Player
Kugendren: Nicolas Anelka (Chelsea)
"Finally living up to his true potential."
Lewis: Ashley Young (Aston Villa)
"Faded at the end of the season, but was excellent at the start."
And the award goes to...Dirk Kuyt (Liverpool)
Sorry Fantasy Leaguers, the Dutch Scouser gets my vote. Anelka has always had goals in him and Young didn't really have much to improve on from last year, as good as his performances were this season. Kuyt on the other hand, has been jeered by his own fans for some time now for not being a finisher like Owen, Fowler and Rush before him. Boy, did he shut them up this season. Kuyt kept Liverpool in ithe running longer than they deserved.

Unsung Hero of the Year
Kugendren: Nemanja Vidic
Lewis: James Beattie (Stoke)
"Gave Stoke the extra push needed for survival."
And the award goes to...Darren Fletcher (Manchester United)
I have to disagree with both Fantasy Leaguers again. Vidic is hardly unsung, since many critics do agree that he is one of the best players this season. Beattie did well but Fletcher clearly gets my vote. I was telling everyone that missing him in the Champions League final was going to hurt United badly and nobody believed me. The boy is a perennial unsung hero in a team where everyone else is a superstar.

Biggest Flop
Kugendren: Dimitar Berbatov (Manchester United)
"Not worth the money. Berbatov is overrated, arrogant and lazy."
Lewis: David Bentley (Tottenham)
"15p not £15million."
And the award goes to...David Bentley
Have to second Lewis here, and not just becase Kugendran's vote is a United player. This was Bentley's year to prove he'd arrived, after a great 08/09 season. Instead, this Bentley looked more like a Chery.

Best Signing
Kugendren: James Beattie
"The signing that ensured safety for Stoke."
Lewis: Brede Hangeland (Fulham)
And the award goes to...James Beattie
Sorry, Lewis, but Hangeland was signed the previous season. Beattie gets this, but not by default. If anyone can, indeed, think of a better signing than the former £6million man whom Stoke paid less than (but up to) £2.5m for, let us know.

Dirtiest Player
Kugendren: Joey Barton (Newcastle)
"Should be locked up in a cell."
Lewis: Marouane Fellaini (Everton)
"...for his sharp elbows."
And the award goes to...Joey Barton
How many of his own teammates have to get beaten up by this bully before they ban him for life? Why teams still want to pay top dollar to sign this hoodlum is anyone's guess. The BPL is not a reality show; you don't need to have a maniac on in order to get higher ratings. Fellaini might have won this if we did, in fact, mean the filthiest player. That big mop of an afro looks like it's been unwashed all season.

Goal of the Year
Kugendren: Ryan Giggs (Manchester Utd) vs West Ham
Lewis: Glen Johnson (Portsmouth) vs WBA
And the award goes to...Federico Macheda (Man Utd) vs Aston Villa
Are you kidding me? Nobody, not even this United fan, had heard of this kid when he came off the bench to give the Red Devils the win after they were on the verge of losing the game, along with their vital lead over Liverpool in the title race. Kiko Macheda was so unheard of, even the latest instalment of Championship Manager doesn't have him in their extensive database (this being the same game that made Cristiano Ronaldo known to gamers years before he made his mark with Sporting). His was a goal nobody thought he'd have the composure to score, and the one that saved United from a bad spell which might have ruined their title aspirations. There wasn't a more important goal from a player you'd least expect to score it.

Goalkeeper of the Year
Kugendren: Edwin Van Der Sar (Man Utd)
"For breaking the record in number of consecutive cleansheets."
Lewis: Mark Schwarzer (Fulham)
And the award goes to...Edwin Van Der Sar
You can't argue with records. Besides, the guy's like 92 in footballer years . By all accounts, he should fat and clumsy like Peter Shilton was at this age.

Defender of the Year
Kugendren: Nemanja Vidic
Lewis: John Pantsil (Fulham)
And the award goes to...Nemanja Vidic
I'm starting to suspect Lewis of being a Fulham fan. To be fair, I make no apologies for being a United fan myself. But surely, there can only be one winner here. Why else would his name be on my United jersey?

Midfielder of the Year
Kugendren: Steven Gerrard (Liverpool)
"Mr. Liverpool-captain marvel."
Lewis: Jose Bosingwa (Chelsea)
And the award goes to...Steven Gerrard
Personally, it should go to Ronaldo for scoring the most lucrative transfer and contract ever, making him the envy of all other players. But with that in mind, Stevie G wins it for consistently being the saviour at his club and staying loyal to them, despite the lack of silverware (giggle) and comparably meagre salary. Still, I was this close to disqualifying him just for being a Phil Collins groupie.

Forward of the Year
Kugendren: Ricardo Fuller (Stoke)
Lewis: Nicolas Anelka
And the award goes to...Nicolas Anelka
Top scorer in the league. Quietly did his job while Didier Drogba bitched and moaned. 'Nuff said.

Disagree with our pick of winners and losers? Too bad -  there's nothing you can do about it...well, except leave your rude anti-United comments and vehement rebuttals in the comment box below. I reserve the right to delete them, though. ; )