The financial crisis has jolted me out of my comfort zone. After some serious discussion with friends who work in the financial sector, and thinking about the best strategies to survive what the industry is calling “the perfect storm”, here’s what I think it all boils down to.

First, I discovered I would need a lot of money ride out this storm – and therefore, I might be in the wrong industry. As much as I love journalism, this is certainly not a sector where most of us would define belt-tightening measures as having to sell the Ferrari for an Audi or purchase one Bottega bag a year instead of five.

Then again, I possess neither the eloquence nor the hardened conscience to even “mis-sell” White Rabbit sweets to a kid, let alone financial products to clueless retirees. So, I’ll just have to trust my passion for my profession to get me through bad times.

Second – since I had ascertained I would probably never amass an obscene amount of money – the next best thing to do was to accumulate a wealth of financial knowledge. I devoured whatever information I could get my hands on and also got my financial adviser to explain the finer details to me.

Judging from the Republican US presidential campaign, I was convinced I did the right thing.
Because should the economic crisis deepen due to (a) the next US president thinking “the
issue of the economy is something that [he] never understood as well as [he] should have” and
(b) the next US vice-president thinking she’s able to look out of her window in Alaska and see The Kremlin in Russia, I’ll know how to handle my finances better.

Third, other than enhancing my financial know-how, I realised one would need guts of steel and a cool head to pull through this crisis. But it’s evidently getting tougher, judging by the newspaper reports about people who have lost their minds: the robbers in Malaysia who tried to loot an ATM by setting it alight with a spectacular display of fireworks; the thieves in Jamaica who mysteriously stole 500 truck-loads of sand from a beach resort without anyone noticing; and the US Senator who had his lawsuit against God for causing “widespread death, destruction and terrorisation” thrown out of court. This crunch has clearly taken its toll, and I am determined to not end up as a statistic.

Last, other than investing in precious metals (which I clearly cannot afford with a bank balance of less than $10), I figured that buying biscuits – those that come in a tin – seemed the next most logical thing to do. Because unlike the bankers, I think that substituting my daily meals with biscuits sounds like a more realistic belt-tightening measure. Moreover, after I’m done with the biscuits, I’d still be able to recession-proof my money in the tins.

And should my plan work and I survive this economic crisis, all I would have to do to guarantee my continued existence is to make sure I don’t get poisoned by the melamine in those biscuits which contain milk produced in China.

This blog does not constitute sound financial counsel. For better advice, read the Men’s Wealth articles by Chan Hse May in the monthly issues of Men’s Health.

The MH Blog is updated every Tuesday. Got something to say to the MH Editorial Bloggers? E-mail us at magmenshealth@sph.com.sg or contact me at sherwinc@sph.com.sg.